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You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in 'The Villages'' Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don't have a sense of humour?

Foxy Lady
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6').
Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

Ling Term Commitment
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

Senenity Now
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

Winning Smile
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
Beatles or Stones?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

Memories
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

Mint Cindition
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by.

And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age..."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.

Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison..."We were at your birthday party yesterday!"
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