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Boyfriend 1: Can I touch your boobs?
Girlfriend 1: Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend 2: Can I touch your heartbeats?
Girlfriend 2: Ooooh!!! How Sweet!!!
Rishta Wahi Soch Nai...

Salim: Anarkali, can I have sex with you?
Anarkali: Aapne Bahut Badi Cheez Maang Li Jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar Woh Cheez Bahut Badi Ho Chuki Hai Toh Phir Rehane Do.

Call Girl (to a 69 years old man): Uncle, Aap Ek Baar Try Karo Na!
Uncle: Main KAR Nahin Paaunga.
Call Girl: Arre, Aao Na Uncle, Try Toh Karo!
Uncle Aa Gaye Aur Callgirl Pe Toot Pade Aur Uski Tassalli Karwa Di.
Call Girl: Haaye Mar Gayi. Aap Toh Bol Rahe The Ki Kar Nahin Paunga.
Uncle: Wo Toh Main PAYMENT Ke Baare Mein Bol Raha Tha.

Boy: Jaanu, MAin English Movie Ki 2 Tickets Laaya Hun. Tum Chalogi Na Mere Saath?
Girl: Which Movie?
Boy: Condom Of Shailesh.
Girl : You Idiot!!! It's Quantum Of Solace.
Maggie, a blonde city girl, marries a dairy farmer.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Maggie, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Maggie takes him down to the barn.

They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one... right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple, by the nail over its stall," Maggie explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "To hang your trousers on."
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