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In this age of safe sex the need for condoms are a must but some people still have a difficult time buying them. Take Joe. Our local store carries condoms behind the counter and you need to ask the salesperson to get them.

So Joe went up to the salesperson, but he was so nervous he could only ask where the straws were. So he bought the straws and left only to have to come back to buy his condoms.

Again Joe came into the store and was still so nervous he could only ask where the tweezers were, so he bought a pair of tweezers and left.

Joe once again had to go back and buy his condoms. He went up to the salesperson and said, in a low tone, "I need some condoms."

The salesperson rang up the sale and said, "First you come in to buy straws, then to buy tweezers, and now to buy condoms."

"What I want to know is.... are you going to suck it, pluck it, or fuck it?"
A huge man married a petite and innocent girl who was a virgin. He was sexually experienced and suggested having sex "doggie style" on their wedding night.

She didn't know what he was talking about and when he explained it, she flew into a rage and insisted they have sex using the "normal" position or not at all.

However, after having sex he was unable to withdraw his penis because it was so big and she was so small. They found themselves in the embarrassing position of having to call an ambulance to take them to the emergency room for help.

After hanging up the phone he said, "You know, if you had done it the way I wanted you too we could have walked to the emergency room."
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